Fun with Dick and Jay
by cerealkiller78
Summary: Jason has to spend an evening with Dick like a normal brother without killing him, because he lost a bet. oooh, Fluffy..
1. Chapter 1

**It's so fluffy I'm gonna die! Remember to review please! **

"So I was all like, "Oh no you di'int"And he was all like "Whaaaaat?"

Jason rolled his eyes. A Friday night spent at Dick's apartment in Bludhaven. What could possibly be better?...

Dick was on his umpteenth story, reminiscing of times that he had taken down baddies as Nightwing. The only reason Jason had agreed to any sort of interaction with his brother that didn't involve maiming in any way, was that…..He was stupid, he was obviously not thinking in any way, shape or form when he agreed to this torture. He should be out patrolling right now!.. Who was he kidding? Dick should be out patrolling right now! There was absolutely no reason good enough that he should be spending his Friday night with Dick like a normal-

"aren't you so glad you lost our little bet?" The creature dared to interrupt his thoughts….

Jason shot him a death glare.

"Oh come on Jay, is taking one day off, and spending an evening together like two normal brothers really so horrible?

"Your right, it's not horrible….It's downright abominable" Jason spat, getting up off the couch, making his way to the kitchen, and raiding the fridge. If there was any way he was going to survive this….Or more accurately put…If Dick was going to survive this, he was going to need junk food….LOTS of it.

"Where do you keep your junk?" Jason turned to Dick after failing his hunting expedition.

"In the garbage..." Dick smirked.

Another death glare.

"Ok, fine, I don't have any, I'm on a diet"

Jason just stared. "Your…on a diet?...What for Mr. Anorexic?!

Dick chuckled.

"hey, no offence, but you could stand to lose a few pounds yourself Mr. Pillsbury" Dick quipped as he poked Jason in the bellybutton.

"Doughboy!" Jason yelled as he punched Dick in the face, sending him stumbling back. He just stared for a moment, looking confused.

"That was AWESOME!" Dick finally came back to reality.

Jason just rolled his eyes, and returned to his exploration of the seemingly empty fridge.

"Look, the deal was that I would spend the evening with you…" He took a carrot out of the fridge, and turned back to Dick.

" But nothing said we had to do it in this junk heap…"

"Junk heap?...Your calling MY place a junk heap? You really must not spend much time at your own place." Dick retorted.

"Uhh no actually, I have a life" Jason bit the carrot.

Dick chuckled.

"what?"

"Usually I would get angry at you right now, and say something witty or sarcastic…..but it's just so hard to take you seriously with that carrot…"

Jason tightened his grip on the carrot, wondering just how painful death by carrot would be?..

"well, it's your own fault for not having any real food in this joint, what are you, a rabbit?" Jason bit into the carrot again.

"Says the man who's eating a carrot in a strikingly similar fashion to Bugs Bunny"

The carrot flew across the room and struck the wall next to Dick before falling to the ground, Dick inspected the carrot on the ground before turning back to Jason.

"WOW….did you seriously just throw a carrot at me?...Did the great Red Hood, scourge of the underworld, literally stoop so low as to throw a carrot at me?" He raised an eyebrow.

Jason just crossed his arms like a little kid and pouted.

"You started it…"

Dick pulled out his cell and started typing furiously away.

"What are you doing?"

"Texting this to Tim….and Damian"

Jason's eyes widened. "You wouldn't!"

Dick looked up from his phone. "well, usually I wouldn't be so cruel as to send something you've done to Damian….But this is just too priceless." He says as he hits the send button.

"NOOO!" Jason reaches Dick just a second late, and grabs the phone from him.

"Tell me you didn't just send that!"

"Guilty…" Dick smirked.

Oh, it was on now...

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**And there you have it! Don't know when I'll update this story, cause I don't actually know where to go from here… this is just something I wrote quick today cause I was bored. But you guys can always help me in the reviews! ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

The cell phone started buzzing as Jason held it in his hand. He cringed and looked down at what it said.

From Tim: AHAHAHAHAHAAA!

The replacement was so going to die for this...But not before a certain older brother...

"I'm going to KILL YOU!" Jason lunged at Dick, who was laughing…LAUGHING.

"What are you gonna do? Stab me with a carrot?" Dick was still laughing as he was pinned up against the wall.

"Don't tempt me, Goldie…" The phone buzzed again, which saved Dick's life as Jason let him go in order to look at the message.

From Damian: Does it really come as a surprise that HE would do something so stupid Grayson? The blows he got to the head with that crowbar probably just made him even more thick in the head.

On second thought, that phone just earned him a slower, and more painful death..

Dick caught sight of the message. "Oooh, I'll have a talk to him about that…

Jason turned on him like a mad bull. "No, I'll talk to him about it… You're going to be six feet under where no one can hear you scream!"

"Now Jay, what I did may have been a little low…"

"A LITTLE?!" Jason growled. "Try the lowest of the low, and I may consider ending your life in a somewhat quicker fashion than what I had planned.

"Well…I wouldn't exactly say the lowest…I mean you DID throw a carrot at me-"

"FORGET ABOUT THE CARROT!" Jason practically screamed, throwing his hands up.

Dick just laughed. "Nevah!"

"AARRRGH! Jason charged him, and soon they were both tumbling around the place, throwing punches, jabbing, kicking, and screaming. All the while remodeling Dick's apartment. They deserved a gold star when it came to multi-tasking.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

Dick stopped and his expression suddenly turned to one of fear. He looked at Jason.

"Act like a normal human being, and everything will be ok.."

"Says the guy who's pants are falling down…" Jason smirked.

Dick looked down to see his boxers, as his pants had fallen half off in their tumbling match. He quickly pulled them back up, and went to the door, opening it a crack so that the person wouldn't see the mess the place was in.

"Hello?" Dick said sweetly.

"Hi…I heard a lot of noise coming from here, and I just wanted to make sure everything was alright…" It was one of Dick's snoopy neighbors.

"Oh, everything's fine…" Dick assured.

"…are you sure?" She asked.

"…Ya…" He answered stupidly.

She gave him a quizzical look, then turned and started walking away.

Dick closed the door and glared at Jason. "No more fighting in the apartment!" He practically hissed.

"Fine by me, let's take this to the streets."

"Uhh, no. You are going to act like a grown up for once, and help me clean up this mess."

Jason crossed his arms. "And if I don't?"

"I'll tell Damian that you used to wet the bed.

"WHAAT?! THAT'S NOT EVEN TRUE!"

"Maybe not, but you really think he's gonna believe you if you try and protest it? Oh, and he would probably spread it to Tim too..

If looks could kill, Dick would be a heaping pile of ash from the glare Jason shot his way.

"He would never let me live it down ….ughh! Fine, you win this time Goldie…" Jason pouted as he started picking up the rubble from the seeming hurricane that had ripped through the place just minutes before.

**Well, ok, so it's not a long chapter or anything, but hey, I wrote it really quick today, I wasn't even expecting to write anything today. And just to let you guys know, I have absolutely no idea where this story is going, I'm just making it up as I write, so if you like this story so far, feel free to leave suggestions, and always leave reviews! It encourages me that people actually do enjoy what they read of my stuff, and therefore encourages me to write even more and do quick updates. Im starting off writing as much as I can, but if I don't get any encouragement, I may lose my fueling :'(**


	3. Chapter 3

**Yay! Thanks for all the reviews guys! You don't know how much each one means to me ;)**

When the place was finally starting to look halfway decent again, Jason dropped the broom he was using to clean the last shards of glass from a lamp that had shattered in their recent original take on WWE.

"Ok, that's all I'm doing." He turned to go to the door, and opened it, but his exodus was cut short by the slavemaster.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Jason stopped and sighed heavily. Oh, that Moses would appear and perform a miracle to set him free from this cruel situation….Death of the firstborn would work just fine…

"You don't seriously expect me to actually stay here after what you did do you? The bet is OFF, I'm outta here." Without another word, he slammed the door and was gone. But Dick just stood there smiling. After a long moment, the door was opened again, and there stood a very annoyed Jason. He took a deep breath.

"Where's my key?.." He asked in a dangerous tone.

Dick continued smiling, he had swiped Jason's key to his place when he wasn't looking.

"You'll get your key back…when you've carried out the loser's side of the bet."

Jason glared. "Forget it. I'll just break a window.." He turned to leave again.

"Aren't your windows like practically unbreakable cause your like obsessive compulsive?" Dick stopped him.

"…I'll spend the night outside then!" Jason countered angrily.

"And then what?...You still won't have a key in the morning…."

Jason turned on him again. "I'll ask one more time. Where. Is. My. Key?...

"I'll show you…When the night's through."

Jason knew he wasn't going to get anywhere with a stubborn Dick. When Dick decided on something, he stuck to it with his life, and nothing could change his mind. Jason could kill him...But that wouldn't change the fact that he still wouldn't have his key.

Exasperated and defeated, Jason let out a sigh.

"Fine…" His voice was barely above a whisper.

"I'm sorry…what?" Dick pretended not to hear.

"Fine." He said louder.

"Fine what?..."

"I'LL STAY OK?!" Jason shouted, and slammed the door shut.

Dick let out a squeal and ran over and hugged his brother.

"See? You DO love me!"

"Dick, you are SUCH A GIRL!" Jason screamed at his brother angrily trying to get away.

"And you're such a big baby!" Dick squeezed him tighter.

"Dick, if you do not let go of me this instant, then so help me, I will-"

"What?" Dick interrupted.

"send an army of mutant carrots after me?"

"DROP THE CARROT ALREADY!" Jason finally managed to pull himself free from Dick, with his added boost of rage from the comment.

"I don't have any…" Dick held out both his empty hands smiling.

Jason was about to blow a fuse right there and then, when suddenly the forgotten cell started to vibrate in his pocket, causing him to jump.

"Wow…you jumped from a phone vibrating? Maybe all your enemies should just have a cell phone handy, and have it vibrate when your least expecting it…"

Jason shot him a death glare, and pulled the phone out.

From Tim: Hey Dick, Joker just escaped from Arkham…Again. And he's in Bludhaven. But Bruce is away on a business trip, and he can't really get out of it right now, so he's wondering if you'll take this?

Jason started typing 'No problem'. And sent it. He went for the door again.

"We're outta here."

"Where are we going?..." Dick inquired.

"The replacement just sent you a job. Joker."

"But we're supposed to be taking today off.." Dick pouted.

"I can't stand being in this place any longer. If you want to live to see sunrise, I suggest you get out there now." Jason warned, opening the door.

"Fine, but on one condition… you have to promise no killing…

"…Fine." Jason agreed after a long pause.

Dick thought he agreed too easily to that…suddenly he caught on to Jason's game.

"And no guns…"

Long pause. Jason finally looked him seriously in the eye.

"…You drive a hard bargain….Deal."

"Good…by the way, any chance I can have my phone back?"

"As soon as you give me my keys back…"

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**Thus ends chapter 3! Thanks again for all the reviews!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Yay! Fourth chapter! Word of caution, around the end, this chapter hovers between K+ and T. What can I say? It involves Joker and Jason, and I couldn't resist. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!**

They were about to head out the door, when Dick suddenly put his hand on Jason's shoulder and stopped him.

"I think we're losing our edge.."

Jason turned. "What are you talking about?"

Dick rolled his eyes. "Helloooo?" He said gesturing to both of them, who were equally devoid of costumes.

"You really want to take on the Joker looking like this?"

Jason chuckled.

"What?..

"You sounded so girly right there…but to answer your question, your right. We have GOT to get you out of those hideous clothes."

Now it was Dick's turn to glare, but he quickly turned it into one of his sarcastic worried faces.

"I know right? Maybe something more modern?..." He asked in a girly sort of way.

Jason rolled his eyes, went back inside and grabbed their stuff, throwing Dick's things to him. They put their costumes on with their regular clothes over top, providing for easy access to the costumes that were just underneath.

The cell buzzed just as Jason was finishing up changing. He flipped it open.

From Tim: I just traced Joker's location to the Gotham Laboratory of Physics and Experimental Divisions. Don't ask me what he's doing hanging with a bunch of science nerds…

"According to the replacement, we're heading to the Gotham Lab." Jason relayed to his brother.

"What for?" Dick sounded confused.

"Apparently that's where Joker is."

"Since when does Joker have any interest in furthering science?..."

"Beats me...

NANANANANANANANANANANANANANA NANANANANANANANANANANANANANA NANANANANANA

Upon arrival at the lab, the terrible two ditched their street clothes for their costumes, and made their way inside via the air ducts. They worked their way to the ceiling of the main lab, which was a room large enough to be an auditorium. In the middle of the room was a large machine which was humming loudly, indicating it was on…whatever it was.

Not far from the machine was what appeared to be one of the scientists that worked in the lab, acting overly happy. He was saying something. But they were too high up to hear, and the hum of the machine drowned his voice out. What both Jason and Dick found weird was that surrounding him was a large group of people that did not look like scientists at all. In fact, they looked strikingly similar to Joker's thugs. What was Joker's thugs doing around a scientist nobody? Scattered around the room were many crates.

While everyone's attention below was focused on the scientist, Jason silently dropped behind the group, by means of a rope, hidden out of view by a bunch of crates. Dick was still up above, waiting for him to land safely before coming down himself. Then Jason heard it, someone was calling for help. He traced the source of the sound to a nearby crate and pried it open. What was inside made him gasp and put his hand over his mouth in shock.

"Well I'll be.. It's The Red Hood!" Jason just stood there, unsure of what to do. Inside the crate, tied up, was none other than the Joker himself. Or…so he thought. His voice was lacking that high pitched, insane tone, and instead was replaced with a normal man's voice.

His relieved expression suddenly turned to one of fear.

"Look out!" But Jason was so busy trying to gather in his thoughts what he saw in front of him, that he didn't react quick enough to the two men who were behind him, as one punched him across the face, sending him to the ground, and the other grabbed him by his arms, Tying his hands behind his back.

They forced him to his feet again, and dragged him out from behind the boxes to the rest of the group after putting what seemed to be the Joker, in a different crate and locked it again.

"Weeeell! If it isn't the hoody!" Came the voice Jason recognized instantly as he was forced to his knees, and his helmet was removed and taken from him. When he looked up however, the source of the voice did not come from who he was expecting at all. It was the scientist he had seen earlier from the ceiling. But that voice…There was no mistaking it. Jason simply stared at the scientist who was now inches from his face, holding a crowbar.

He laughed, that laugh that was both insane and sinister.

"Awww, confused? Let me clear things up for you." Without any warning, he brought the crowbar across his face, knocking him to the ground.

He looked down at him, grinning darkly. "Still don't understand? Let me put it in BLACK" The crowbar hit his back. "And WHITE" It was jabbed into his ribs. Jason gritted his teeth as the pain flew through his body, unable to do anything as his arms were still tied behind him. He turned and looked up at the man with dagger eyes and a dark expression on his face.

The scientist laughed again. "Ah yes! It's coming back now isn't it?"

The only thought that brought Jason any comfort was that they didn't know that Dick was here too. He hadn't dropped down yet when Jason was caught. Speaking of Goldie…Where was he? Anytime would be just FINE…Jason thought in his head angrily.

"This is even easier than last time!" He crowed as he stomped his foot down on his head, driving him back into the ground. Despite all that was going on, Jason had only one thought stuck in his head: That body…and that voice…was SO wrong together…

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**Well there's another chapter! Hope you guys like the twist! Again, Thank you for all the great reviews! I didnt expect this story to be that popular :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Grrr…Ok, you guys, I've done it again. This whole chapter is rated T…I might change the rating on this story if this keeps up in the later chapters…I can't help it! My evil side keeps sneaking up on me, and beats me over the head with a chocolate chip cookie, while yelling "COME TO THE DARK SIDE!" On a positive note….LONGER CHAPTER! WHOOT! Ok, I'm done ranting…**

"Don't worry hoodie, I'll make sure that you can't come back to life this time to carry on your pathetic little existence."

Jason shot him a death glare.

"Speaking of which…The suspense is JUST killing me..How did you come back to life?.."

Jason simply continued to glare.

"I'll tell you what…You tell me your little secret, and I'll end your life quick and painlessly. A quick shot to your head. You won't feel a thing…" His voice suddenly became dark. "but if you don't answer…"

"So! Why don't you explain to us all how you did it? How did you manage to make a fool of the clown prince of crime himself, and come back to life?" His voice returned to its normal high pitch.

"I..uh.." A gunshot was heard as a bullet imbedded itself into Jason's shoulder and he cried out in pain.

"Oops! Did I forget to mention that hesitation counts as refusal to answer?" He laughed.

"Care to play again?"

"The lazarus pit!" Jason blurted out as the first thing to come to his head, and another gunshot went off as a second bullet found its way into his other shoulder. He gritted his teeth.

"Wrong again!" The scientist or rather..Joker, pulled Jason's hair to look at him.

"The lazarus pit only rejuvenates a person if their still breathing! Even I know that!" Joker hissed at him.

"Come on, Hoodie, you can do better than that!" He said as he pushed Jason's head back into the floor.

"I don't know how I came back to life!" Jason shouted angrily.

"Superboy could have punched a hole in a semi dimensional wall, altering reality, and bringing me back to life for all I know!" Jason was exasperated.

"You're really pushing your luck, you know that hoodie?" Joker said darkly.

Jason turned his head, and glared him straight in the eye.

"And do I look like I even remotely care?" He growled.

"Suit yourself then." Joker said as he got back up, and turned towards a thug.

"Put him in one of the trucks, he's coming with us."

"But I thought you were gonna kill him?" The thug asked, confused.

"Oh, I am gonna kill him, make no mistake. But if he wants to go the slow and painful way, who am I to say no? Unfortunately I'm on a tight schedule, so I'm afraid we'll have to take this party elsewhere."

"And why don't you tell me why you're in a scientist's body?" Jason shouted from the floor.

"What? You weren't feeling nerdy enough in your own body?"

He was pulled up by his hair suddenly, as a hand tightened around his neck, effectively cutting off his air supply. He started gasping , blackness overtaking his vision, Joker got back down to Jason's level as he pulled out a knife.

"Watch your tongue, or you may just lose it altogether." He warned in a low voice.

Jason responded with a strangled gasp as he fought to get air back with no avail.

"Are you ready to cooperate now?" He asked in a dark manner.

Jason was ready to pass out, when finally Joker nodded to the man behind who was strangling him, and he fell to the floor, taking in the much needed oxygen.

"That mouth of yours is gonna get you into a lot of trouble. Perhaps we should do something about it…" He contemplated thoughtfully as Jason was still gasping in the air.

"But again, not here. You've already wasted enough of our time, and we must be going.

two thugs picked him up by his arms, causing him to groan from the pain in his shoulders of being moved.

C'mon Todd, pull yourself together! He thought to himself, and mustering every piece of discipline he had, he kicked his legs from behind, hitting the two who were holding him, sending them stumbling back.

He made a run for it, arms still bound, and his body threatening to pass out from the pain he felt in his shoulders, and through his whole body.

Gunshots fired around him, barely missing him.

"Don't kill him you idiots!" Joker grabbed a gun from one of the men.

"I'm not NEAR finished with him…" He aimed, and fired a shot which found its way straight into the back of Jason's ankle, as his short lived freedom came to a halt. He fell once again to the floor beneath the large machine with an agonizing cry. Two men picked him back up as Joker walked over, and grabbed him by his hair.

"You're really getting on my nerves you know that?" He growled in a dangerous tone.

"I'll just have to make sure you don't try anything again." He looked down at his foot that had been shot.

"That looks like it could get infected. Perhaps we should remove the problem before it has a chance to start." He took his knife out again, and moved it down to Jason's ankle, and just as the blade touched flesh, a batarang whizzed by, knocking the knife out of the Joker's hand.

Well, it's about time…Jason thought as the room around him exploded into action.

Nightwing swung down, punching the Joker, and sending him backwards. A handful of thugs were immediately on top of him, and as he was offing them one by one, he threw one of his Eskrima sticks in the direction of a thug who was headed for Jason. The stick hit the thug square in the head, as he fell back against the machine, hitting a button on it labeled "Engage". A lid like object dropped down on Jason's head which was attached to the machine. In the midst of the chaos, Joker took out a grenade.

"If you want a job done right, you have to do it yourself!" He growled as he threw the grenade in Nightwing's direction.

Nightwing managed to jump out of the way of the grenade, but the blast was still enough to send him backwards. His back hit the machine hard, and he was knocked out temporarily as another object dropped down onto his head, and suddenly he felt a zapping and dizzying sensation. His body felt as if it was literally lifting out of itself, like an out of body experience.

As quickly as it happened, it stopped. But Dick wished it hadn't, because as soon as it stopped, he felt like he was going to pass out. He suddenly had shooting pains all through his body. He tried moving his arms, but found that they were bound behind him, and his shoulders were burning with pain.

He moved his head to look up, with what little strength he had left with his sudden loss, and what he saw made him think he was having an epiphany of some sort. For standing in front of him, wide eyed, and having a look of pure shock on his face was…Himself.

**Ok, So I tried to make it clear in this chapter.. But for those who aren't getting the picture…YES, Joker switched bodies with a scientist, so whenever it says "Joker" in this chapter, it's actually the scientist's body we're picturing. The scientist is in Joker's body. Just wanted to clear that up to people. I tried to make it clear in the last chapter, but I think people were just confused, LOL. **


	6. Chapter 6

**READ BELOW! IMPORTANT!**

**Ok, I'm being mean to you guys. So, whenever you read "Jason" or "Dick" in this story, you have to picture them being in each other's bodies, same goes for the Joker and the scientist, whenever it says "Joker" you have to picture the scientist, and vise versa, cause their in each other's bodies now, I just don't want you guys getting really confuzzeled when you read this…You probably already are…*Facepalms***

"Wing?.." Dick's body said, but the voice that came out of it was Jason's.

Oh, this is so wrong…Dick thought in his head.

"Move you idiot!" Was what he managed to get out of his mouth just as another grenade was thrown their way. Jason tried to jump out of the way of it, but they were both too close, and the explosion sent them both flying back.

It was obvious Jason was really distracted, and now there was nothing Dick could do to help him out, as he was currently now inside his brother's recently broken body. The explosion sure didn't help him out at all either. He was thrown back, and landed hard on the floor again, the wind being knocked out of him. He struggled to get air back as he suddenly heard a creaking and groaning. He looked up with what little strength he had, to see people around the large machine trying to get out of the way as it gave way from the impact of the blast, and came tumbling down.

"MY MACHINE!" Joker screamed.

"Who threw that grenade?! I demand to know!" Joker was furious, and for the moment, distracted.

Jason used this opportunity to get up, ignoring the pain in his body from the blast, and go after his brother. He grabbed him, threw him over his shoulder, and ran. It felt weird carrying his own body.. Jason searched with one arm for where his brother kept his grappling hook in his newly attained body and suit, while holding his body up with his other arm, all the while running.

While in the middle of his ranting and raving, Joker caught sight of Jason running.

"Don't just stand there! Get him!" He screamed.

Jason dropped Dick as gently as he could quickly, but still, his brother groaned in pain. Jason searched his suit for the grappling hook, finding a smoke bomb, and everything else but, as a crowd of thugs closed in on them. After what seemed like an eternity, Jason finally found it. By now, the crowd was right on top of him, and he wouldn't have time to send them both up before someone grabbed them, so he took the smoke bomb he had found, and just as an arm was reaching for him, he threw it down, exploding it and hiding them in the smoke. He grabbed his brother, shot the grappling hook up, praying that it would catch on to something, and they both shot up, away from the clutches of the crowd, into an air duct.

Below, when the smoke finally cleared, neither were to be found. This infuriated Joker all the more.

"You…IDIOTS!" He growled.

"You let them get away!" He yelled, exasperated.

"Don't just stand around! Get my body, we're out of here…"

Two thugs went to the crate that held the Joker's body, only to find it open and empty.

"uhh….boss?.." one asked nervously as Joker came over, took one look at it, and shot the thug.

"oh that's just GREAT!" He yelled throwing his hands into the air.

"Now I don't even HAVE my body! Not that it would really matter anyways right? Seeing that the brain switch machine is broken because of you imbeciles!

He paced around for a while, before grabbing one of the thugs by the collar, and pulling him near his face.

"Let me make myself very clear…" He growled in a dangerous tone.

"I want my body…I want that machine fixed….and I want that hoody!" He screamed, throwing the man to the floor.

"And no mistakes! He turned and addressed everyone else around. "Remember, hoody is in Nightwing's body now, so if we can get Nightwing's body.."

"Don't waste your time with him anymore" A voice interrupted, Joker turned to the source of the voice, as a man approached.

"Oh, and why is that?" He asked annoyed.

"I caught Nightwing in the air ducts, before they switched bodies, managed to hold him down for a while, and inject him with a little something before he got away from me. If they really did switch bodies, then that means the red hood is the one who will be affected by it now."

Joker listened with interest.

"And what is it exactly, that you put into him?" he asked.

The man smirked. "Just a little something that's sure to have him dead in the next week at the latest. Wait for him to be out of the picture, and you can go after Nightwing with ease, seeing how he is in Red's body now, and is pretty useless on his own."

Joker grinned widely, throwing his arm around the man.

"Finally, someone around here who knows what he's doing!"

**Ok, I'll admit, this probably isnt my best chapter, and i was hesitant about it, but let me know what you guys think! and thanks to everyone who have been reviewing up until now, you're the best!**


	7. Chapter 7

***Walks up dramatically***

"**Ladies and gentlemen…The great hiatus…is DOOOOOOOOONE! *Fireworks go off, as the song "Celebrate good times" starts playing***

**Ok, Im Baaaaack! Didya miss me? Believe it or not, I actually got the idea for this next chapter while munching on carrots! I know right? Carrots? Fuelling my brain?...Preposterous!**

**Followers: Ya, ya…WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN FOR THE LAST TWO MONTHS?!**

**Whoah…I can read your minds…trippy…as for where Ive been….uhh…in a far away land…where evil people oppress children with heavy loads of work…paperwork, I was chosen to lead the children away from the oppressors demanding that they "Let my people go!"**

**Not that their MY kids or anything…I just thought it had a…cool ring to it..so…ya….on with the story….**

**Followers: But..-**

**ON WITH THE STORY!**

Jason had managed to drag Dick's body…or more appropriately, HIS body, to the outside of the building where they had started out. He proceeded to place Dick in the back seat of the car that they had hidden, and then went to get into the driver's seat. But just as he went to turn the ignition, he turned his head, and the sight that greeted him was almost enough to make him vomit. For sitting next to him, in the passenger's side, was none other than…Joker.

Or more appropriately put, his body. But that fact didn't comfort Jason in the very least.

"What…Are you doing here?" He hissed.

"What are you talking about? You told me to come here!"

"Why would I invite YOU into my car?!"

Dick suddenly spoke up.

" I….told him to come here…And relax… remember, its not really Joker…just his body." Dick managed to get out.

Jason spun around to Dick.

"oh, and that's supposed to comfort me in the fact that im practically sitting next to my own killer?!"

"wait…killer? Wha?.." Joker's body tried.

Jason spun around to him. "You!" He cut him off, pointing accusingly at him.

"You don't say a word.."

Dick continued.

"relax, what was I supposed to do? Leave him with the REAL Joker?"

"Maybe! He looks a lot like the real Joker to me!"

"Hood!" Dick started to argue, but was cut off by Jason once again.

"Just think! Fine! He may not actually be Joker…but what was he doing with a freakin brain switch machine?! Cause I REALLY doubt that the REAL Joker came up with that all on his own! Why do you think Joker wanted HIS body?" Jason was pretty much yelling by now, as he pointed once again to the scientist aka fake Joker.

Dick looked at him.

"What exactly…were you doing with a machine like that?..." Dick asked.

He gave a worried look.

"Well…uhh..I mean…You guys got hit by the brain switcher?" He pointed at both of them. Poorly attempting to change the subject.

Jason threw his hands up, exasperated.

"That does it! I want him out!"

"Jason! Relax!" Dick blurted.

"Jason?" The scientist asked both nervously, and curiously.

"Oh..OH! Way to keep up the identities DICK!" Jason practically screamed his name to get his point across.

"Why don't we just THROW our masks away while we're at it?"

Dick sighed, trying to keep his voice calm. "Jay, you of all the people, should know how much pain im in right now, and you screaming your head off like a five year old, not getting his way, is REALLY not helping AT ALL, now can we PLEASE go home?"

Jason glared at the scientist/ fake Joker.

"Fine.." His voice was barely above a whisper.

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Soon, they were back at Dick's apartment. They had removed the bullet from his ankle, and both his shoulders, and were now finishing up tending to the other wounds. Jason could have sworn that Dick was making a bigger fuss out of this than even he would.

"Dick, you are SUCH a baby!"

"Shut up." Dick winced.

"Ok, what next?" The scientist asked as he finished bandaging up the wounds. It was weird to see the Joker…or...his body at least, helping them out.

"Nothing, we're good for now." Jason replied in relief, as he turned to him.

"look..." He started hesitantly.

"I…owe you an apology about earlier. Sometimes my temper can get the better of me…well, actually most of the time really…"

"Don't worry about it." The man cut him off.

"Forgive me to even bring this up, but if I really am in the body of the man who killed you…and I'll admit, that sounds strange to me since you are still here…but I'm sure there's an explanation for that. My point is, that if I really am in his body, then you have plenty of reason to lash out on me. So, maybe I shouldn't look like him. Maybe that would help."

"What are you implying?.." Jason asked.

"It's simple… I'll change my look, a little makeup and all."

"You really don't have t-

"Seriously…You think I WANT to look like this?" He gestured to his body.

"Well, when you put it that way…"

"Good, I'll go out and get some then, and a new wardrobe while I'm at it, these clothes itch something fierce!"

"One problem…" Jason stopped him.

Don't you think people will find it a bit odd that the Joker is out shopping in public?.."

"True, but I don't sound anything like him. I'll just say it's an amazing Halloween costume."

Jason shrugged.

"Alright then…" He said hesitantly.

Dick was watching the whole scene play out before his eyes, as if they had totally forgotten he was even there, and he was happy for that, otherwise he probably would never have seen something quite like this happen.

**ARGHGH! I don't know WHY I couldn't write this sooner! My brain wouldn't let me access it! This chapter made me search for every word of it…EVERY. WORD. It's like my brain scrambled all the words and hid them, and then was like "Ok! Go look!" Hopefully the next chapter will be out early next week, I can't update this weekend, cause I'll be visiting my sissy! So, but ya...leave this chapter knowing that I have not abandoned this story! And leave feedback, do you like the direction of this story? Was this a good chapter? Cause I always seem to be so hesitant about a chapter before I post it. So ya…Im done ranting…Go away.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Ok, guys, so I was on my way to my sister's, when half way there, the car broke down, and I had to get it towed back into town, and wasn't able to go after that, so I decided to waste the rest of the day writing you guys another chapter…Your welcome. But seriously…WHO JINXED ME? Oh, btw GlOmP3R, this is my second update in a row, so you owe me a new chapter…and a virtual cookie xDD**

Once the scientist was gone, Jason decided to leave Dick in the room and went out to the kitchen to get himself something to eat, he was starving! What was Dick doing on this stupid diet anyway? He went to the fridge, and in a moment of déjà vu, saw more carrots staring him in the face. The world hated him, he thought as he reluctantly took one and started eating it.

He turned around to take a step, and without warning, in a split second, he was down on the ground, his legs had totally given out, and it felt as if his entire body was on fire. He clutched at his body, trying to stop the searing pain. Nothing would help. He clenched his teeth to the point where he thought they would break, suddenly he let out a blood curdling scream of agony. He was going to pass out, he knew that much. The pain that was being inflicted by the unknown source was in no mood to let up any time soon. Jason was sweating. He looked over to the side, and saw the half eaten carrot on the ground. He had only one thought in his head as he felt himself fall into the dark clutches that was called unconsciousness…

Demon carrot.

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"So this drug you gave him kills from the inside out?" Joker asked the man with interest.

"Quite literally, it shuts down the basic operations of the limbs, while the organs and tissue are attacked and overcome by the poison, slowly killing the victim over the period of a week. It also doesn't necessarily need to be taken with a needle, it can be taken orally"

A dark smile crept its way across the Joker's scientist face.

"Any chance I could…buy some off you?"

He smirked.

"I thought you'd never ask."

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Dick was just falling into sleep when he heard a crash come from outside the room, towards the kitchen.

"Jay?..." He called weakly.

No answer, he thought he heard some shaking around, and groaning noises, when suddenly a horrific scream echoed through the place.

"Jay?!" He tried sitting up, but his shoulders were in no mood to cooperate. He fell back on the bed with more sharp pains that he could have really done without. He wasn't going anywhere.

**So ya, it's a super short chapter...but I wrote it within an hour, so what can you expect?...there might be another short chapter tonight, I'll see, im just disappointed I didn't get to see my sissy :'( Im super bored now…imma go watch spongebob….WHAT?! Spongebob RULES! And don't EVER think otherwise.**


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